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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27136814">so let us not be lonesome, lost in between our needs and wants</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeddleLyn/pseuds/MeddleLyn'>MeddleLyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Two Princes (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But mild enough that you would probably understand without listening, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Amir (Two Princes Podcast), Rated T for discussions of Kind of Creepy Guy, Season 3 Spoilers, Self-Worth Issues, if you want the reward of gay princes, you must submit to the mortifying ideal of their responsibilities and upbringings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:30:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,225</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27136814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeddleLyn/pseuds/MeddleLyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amir has a problem with the way one of the visiting diplomats is treating Rupert. Rupert <em>does not</em> seem to have a problem with the way said diplomat is treating him. Amir notices.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Or, Rupert has some issues and Amir has some issues with his husband's lack of awareness of said issues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amir/Rupert (Two Princes Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>256</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so let us not be lonesome, lost in between our needs and wants</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yes I Binged TTP S3 The Morning It Came Out No I Will Not Accept Constructive Criticism For This Fact.<br/>Anyway I was talking to my friend and thinking about Rupert and then I projected onto Rupert's canon lack of regard for his own identity. So have this dumpster fire! I am so sorry!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two kings were sitting in their shared chamber, clad in pajamas and going through their nightly routines. Rupert was sitting in bed, reading some book about gryphons while Amir sat at his desk to go over a new reform for some agricultural laws. Only, Amir wasn’t all that focused on said laws.</p>
<p>His mind kept wandering back to what had happened at the meeting earlier. The couple was attempting to establish some new trade routes between their kingdom and a neighboring one, and had just greeted the diplomats that day. The kings were currently hosting about a dozen representatives of the kingdom in their castle’s east wing, and they were set to stay about a week in order to lay down a new contract.</p>
<p>But that wasn’t what was bothering Amir. The diplomats all seemed nice enough, even if a few of them were a little cold, most of the others were fairly friendly. One of them though, Representative Trenton, was a bit too friendly. </p>
<p>Specifically, he was very friendly with <em>Rupert</em>.</p>
<p>He had forgone the handshakes that most of the other representatives had opted for, instead going in for a firm hug with a cheery smile. That in and of itself wasn’t too unusual, as Kings Rupert and Amir were known for their friendly nature and were greeted as such often enough. But as Amir had been welcoming another diplomat, he had noticed how Trenton had clung to Rupert just a <em>little</em> too long. At the time, he had brushed it off as Trenton just being an overly friendly man and pushed the thought out of his mind as he embraced another diplomat.</p>
<p>It kept happening, though, all throughout the welcome party and into the evening, the lingering looks and the clumsy hands and the not-quite double meanings to his words and by the end of the night Amir had taken to sticking even closer than usual to Rupert’s side, putting himself in between the two at every opportunity.</p>
<p>The biggest problem though, was that Rupert hadn’t even seemed bothered by the attention. He had been perfectly cordial all evening, never shrugging off any of the hands and responding to Trenton’s advances with coy remarks of his own. There had been no hesitation to any of his actions throughout the night, and while he didn’t protest when Amir began to stay closer, he hadn’t seemed all that relieved like Amir had expected.</p>
<p>And now Amir realized he had been staring at the pile of documents for five minutes and he hadn’t read a word of them. He gave the papers one last look, before giving up and turning to Rupert.</p>
<p>“Rupert,” he began, “What do you think about Rep Trenton?”</p>
<p>He expected some witty reply, some jab at jealousy that Amir would insist wasn’t there, leading to some banter into bed, only to be shocked when Rupert just turned the page of his book and replied with, “Oh he is <em>so</em> annoying. He kept trying to find excuses to talk to me <em>all night</em> and he just wouldn’t stop bringing me drinks! You know, I think he even brushed off Porridge, the <em>literal dragon</em>, when he came by. <em>Porridge</em>! I mean, who does that?”</p>
<p>Amir’s jaw dropped. “Wait- <em>wait</em> you mean to tell me that he was making you uncomfortable <em>the whole time</em>? Why didn’t you say anything? I would have stepped in if you had told me!”</p>
<p>Rupert rolled his eyes and brushed him off, “I didn’t tell you <em>because</em> you would’ve stepped in. You would have caused <em>such</em> a scene.”</p>
<p>“That’s not a reason for letting that guy just- letting him <em>harass</em> you like that!” </p>
<p>Rupert did another very surprising and out of character thing and sighed, grabbing his bookmark from the table and setting his book down. “Come here,” he said calmly, almost resignedly, gesturing next to him, on Amir’s side of the bed.</p>
<p>“What? Rupert I-” Amir started, only to be cut off by Rupert patting the bed again, with a tad more force than before. Amir got up and sat on top of the covers next to his husband, a million questions on his lips. “What? You better not be trying to evade the question Rupert or-”</p>
<p>“I’m not, I’m not, I promise,” Rupert said with a smile. He turned to fully face Amir and let his smile drop into something a bit more sad. He grabbed Amir’s hand and squeezed it softly, continuing with a fond tone, “You.. you were raised as a knight and a prince. You grew up learning how to do complex geometry and parry a sword and navigate a forest and defeat your enemies with nothing but your left shoe and a toothpick. You were raised to protect your people with your sword and your wits. You went into the Forest looking for a battle. You believed in the idea that there was a very good chance you would never come out of that forest, but you went in anyway because it was your duty to fight for your people.”</p>
<p>Amir stared at Rupert, because that wasn’t even close to what they had been talking about and Rupert had a serious look on his face that was so foreign to Amir, who was used to his husband’s cheer and lightheartedness. “Okay… but what does all that have to <em>do</em> with anything?”</p>
<p>“Hush,” Rupert squeezed his hand again and used his other to press a finger against Amir’s lips, “I’m not done yet. You were raised as a knight, but me? I was raised as… I guess you could call me a diplomat. My mother never wanted me to know about the prophecy, but in trying to protect me from that, a lot of the way I grew up was focused more on the... entertainment side of things, with all the nobles and representatives and parties. While you were busy learning all the ways to defeat a seductive vine monster, I was learning how to throw parties and please guests.”</p>
<p>At this point Amir was thoroughly lost, because none of this seemed relevant at all to what he had asked, but Rupert didn’t seem to notice, barrelling onward, “My mother taught me a lot of things, but one of the most important lessons I ever learned was how to read people. She taught me to identify what people want and the second most important lesson she ever taught me was how to give it to them. I learned how to talk to every kind of person I would ever need to interact with as a prince, and I learned how to act in order to please them.”</p>
<p>Amir’s brow furrowed, and he leaned forward just a little, moving his hand to grasp Rupert’s more fully. He was starting to get a clearer picture, and it wasn’t one he liked, but he didn’t want to interrupt Rupert. As much as he hated where this was heading, he needed to know. </p>
<p>“When you first met me, I told you that I was a thief. Obviously, it was a lie because I thought you were going to kill me, but it was a little more than that,” Rupert straightened his back and used his free hand to cup Amir’s face in his hands, “I am whoever I need to be in order to do what is best for my people. When we met, I was a thief to survive, because I couldn’t very well lead them if I was dead. But I was also a suitor for many years, and I would smile at girls and flirt at balls and go on dates that were all fake because I had a duty to fulfill. My dear, you are so strong, and you protect both me and our kingdom with your sword, but that is not the only way to do so.”</p>
<p>Rupert leaned forward and kissed Amir softly, just once, and pulled back with a slightly sad smile, “I will be whatever and whoever I need to be to protect you and to protect our people. I love you, so, so much, but I’m not going to tell Representative Trenton to stop, just like I didn’t tell Darling to either, because right now we <em>really</em> need these trade routes and we can’t afford to put them or our kingdom’s relationship with theirs in jeopardy for my sake. Right now, what I’m needed to be is the king who will be friendly with the handsy nobles and representatives because then they will like us and be willing to open these routes and maybe even more things in the future. You will always fight for our kingdom, but this is how <em>I</em> protect our people, Amir, and I need to know that you’re going to continue to let me.”</p>
<p>Oh. Amir opened his mouth and shut it again, staring at his love with a look of slight anguish, “No, Rupert I- I can’t <em>do</em> that, I can’t let <em>you</em> do that. You are so, so important, my love, and you can protect our kingdom in so many ways but it doesn’t- it <em>shouldn’t</em> have to be that one.”</p>
<p>“Amir,” Rupert started again, his tone soft and placating in a way that just made Amir <em>angry</em> in ways he couldn’t articulate, “It’s okay.”</p>
<p>“No!” He said, moving back from him, getting off the bed and beginning to pace angrily, “No, I won’t let you do that. It’s <em>not</em> okay- it’s not even <em>close</em> to okay, Rupert, how could you <em>ever</em> think that it is?”</p>
<p>“It is okay, Amir, really. I’m alright-”</p>
<p>“What if it was Wenceslaus?” Amir asked sharply, pausing in his movements and turning to Rupert with a steely gaze.</p>
<p>“I- what?”</p>
<p>“What if it was Wenceslaus who was pushing down all of his feelings and ignoring his own needs because he thought it was his duty? Would that be okay with you?”</p>
<p>“No- no of course not! But that’s different, Amir, and I’m <em>not</em> Wenceslaus. I can take care of myself.”</p>
<p>“But one day, Rupert, one day he will grow up. And he’s going to have to learn how to protect what will be his kingdom, would you want him doing this? He won’t stay a child forever and he has to learn how to be a prince at some point, so we might as well start teaching him to ignore all his feelings and boundaries tomorrow, right?”</p>
<p>“What? No, of course we aren’t going to do that. It’s different, I told you-”</p>
<p>“How? How is it different?” Amir sat back down on the bed and grabbed Rupert’s face in his hands, staring him down, “I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the difference between you and him, right now.”</p>
<p>“I- well it’s- you can’t just- <em>Amir</em>,” Rupert stuttered out, “That’s not fair.”</p>
<p>“And neither is the way you’re treating yourself, but look where we are. Tell me, Rupert, tell me <em>exactly</em> what you think the difference is between you and Wenceslaus.”</p>
<p>“I just-” Rupert squeezed his eyes shut, and Amir noticed how they were beginning to look red around the edges, “he doesn’t <em>deserve</em> that.”</p>
<p>“And you do?” Rupert’s silence spoke for itself. Amir leaned forward and kissed him gently, attempting to channel all of his love into this one action, “My love, you are worth <em>so much</em>. You deserve to feel things and show them and stop when you are uncomfortable. Establishing your boundaries won’t make you a failure to our kingdom. It doesn’t mean that you don’t protect us, because you do that so much every day in a million other ways.”</p>
<p>Rupert looked at him with glassy eyes, seemingly speechless. Amir kissed him again, more slowly this time, once again trying to fit everything he couldn’t say aloud into it and hoping Rupert heard it all. “It’s alright if you can’t just change everything at the drop of a hat. But- but promise me you’ll tell me if you’re ever uncomfortable with anyone? Please? It hurts me so much to know that you were hurting and I had the opportunity to do more and I didn’t.”</p>
<p>Rupert seemed to struggle with himself for a bit, before he let out a small breath and spoke with uncertainty, “I- I guess I could let you know sometimes if someone gets to be more than I can handle. But you have to promise me you will never cause a scene or start a scandal.”</p>
<p>Amir’s mouth twisted into a frown, but still he nodded and leaned forward to kiss his husband on the forehead, “That’s all I can ask of you. This conversation isn’t over, you know. But, I think tonight we’ve talked enough.”</p>
<p>Rupert chuckled softly and set about putting out the candles and preparing the bed, “Yeah I wouldn’t disagree with you there. Am I the big spoon or-”</p>
<p>“Oh you are <em>not</em> getting to be the big spoon tonight, not after all that. Tonight I am just going to hold you until you love yourself more than Porridge loves porridge.”</p>
<p>Rupert smiled and gave Amir a quick kiss, before letting himself be pulled into the arms of his husband. Here, no matter who he was out there, he was just himself. And his self wouldn’t object to a night in his dear’s arms, knowing how much he was loved.</p>
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